maxspivak

The only time wireless can be an issue is on motion light triggers. That half a second delay is not a big deal for any monitoring, but if you want the light to be on the moment you step in the room...
This is not due to it being wireless as such mind you - this is a standard built-in delay in wireless to prevent too many false triggers (and thus huge battery drain). It's why we use nyce or axxess motions for that sort of thing.
 
I'm all for wired as well, but there are lots of sensors where wired isn't a great option. Fancy doors and windows often don't play nice with may wired sensors. We have clients with doors costing thousands of dollars (or more...).
Add to that that around doors and windows the likelihood of busted wires is many times higher (rarely had a job with zero) simply due to how they are done (frame, moulding around the frame and the brad nails used to do it etc etc etc).
 
To me, I want motions, glassbreaks and anything that will be difficult to reach for whatever reason wired - door and window contacts I go wireless.
 
As for best option - both are fine panels, but unless it came out and I missed it the IQ4 panel cannot be integrated yet.

I also am using Ubiquiti with no issues.  I'm not an IT pro, but setting up the EdgerrouterX and AP's wasn't hard in Unifi.  There are plenty of YT videos that will step you through it.  Be aware that the Neeo remote has APPALLING wifi performance, so make sure your wifi is overbuilt.  My iPhone reports RSSI at least 10dB hotter than the Neeo.  I had to add an extra AP in my 5k sqft house (two LR and two Pro) just to keep the damned remote from dropping.  
Also, I'll second the "Luma is crap" comment- at least compared to Ring.   The video quality is pretty terrible for a 4k camera- note that you can barely read the Prime logo and you can't read the yard sign.  I'm sitting in my office right now and I can read it just fine from here. Forget using this for any sort of forensic work...
Luma motion sensor zones don't work.  See snapshot...  The feature is there, but it doesn't work.
The ONLY reason to go with Luma is so you can use your TV or T4 Touchpads to view the video.  Otherwise, I miss my Ring stuff....

Heres my take, but please realize that C4 is a dealer platform so having a dealer you can rely on, helps in the overall experience.
Getting multiple quotes is good.
Networking
Ruckus is excellent and I have had no problems for years; prior had issues with Araknis but if the dealer is supporting, shouldn't have any issues.  The unifi debate I won't get into but realize C4 is dealer based so go with something that is recommended so its easily supported (unless your supporting it yourself). 
Surveillance
Cameras are all over but Luma works well.  I prefer a separate app although many can be integrated into C4 for programming which is helpful (per your request).
Distributed Audio
Your solution is fine as long as its background music; You can spend alot of money on audio, but from your statement of expectations, is valid and it works.
Security
Utilize what the dealer wishes to recommened and view demo with dealer;  You and your wife's expectations are easily met, but having it integrated correctly helps with the process and support.
Lighting
C4 or Lutron work great; You can reduce wall clutter with keypads etc...  Again, planning with a dealer is key esepecially during construction.
Locks
Do you have a style that works with the home; that would determine which brand you might choose; Your list is accurate, but its getting them that sometimes a pain (supply chain).
HVAC
Both work well; Your correct on looks for Aprilaire but Ecobee works fine too.  Both integrate fine.
Control, Rack
I would recommend you go with one of the NEW controllers to be released if your planning now (core); run Cat-6 everywhere you can; You didn't discuss distributed video; WattBox, UPS, etc...is just good practice and easily manageable if you have issues (dealer can help via remote).
https://www.strata-gee.com/snap-one-unleashes-an-array-of-new-products-at-virtual-partner-summit/

I have kwikset locks and am very satisfied, programming off of, battery life, etc.